Linda Dessau — My Beliefs & Personal Journey
- If something doesn't feel right, don't do it.
- Focus on adding in what's good, not only on taking out what's bad.
- You can only change or control yourself, not what anyone else thinks or feels, so be true to yourself.
- It may not always be a wonderful world, but you can do your part to make your corner of it wonderful, with every choice you make and with every interaction you have with another person.
- Be selfish — put yourself first. Only then will you be in a position to really help others.
- The answers may be simple, but not easy.
- Once in awhile, look back and take stock of all you've accomplished, like when you've made it to the top of a big hill.
- If you open up space for an opportunity, it will happen.
- You can sit and imagine how your life will improve, or you can take action, ask for help and make it happen.
My Journey to Self-Care
Quitting smoking was one of the hardest things I've ever done. My main tools were planning and support — the structures I put in my place for my quit are very similar to what I've created in The Everyday Self-Care Workbook. Also, I noticed that once I'd gotten rid of that bad habit, I was becoming less and less tolerant of the other parts of my life that weren't quite what I wanted them to be.
The next phase was to introduce exercise into my life. I started with a pretty traditional routine of joining a gym and creating a routine of cardiovascular and strength workouts. Then I was bitten by the “running” bug.
I ran for two seasons — two winters, actually — and I absolutely loved it. I loved being outdoors, I loved using my body to its fullest potential, I loved training with my Dad, who has been running for years. What stopped me the first time from running was a back injury (March 2001). I got back to running after that, and then in the late winter of 2002 the onset of fibromyalgia stopped me once again.
The back injury was quite a wake-up call. I'd been feeling so good about what I was doing for my body that I'd neglected to notice the build-up of stress in me — a job I didn't like, a boring social life and a lot of negative thinking. Realizing the importance of my whole life picture, and not just my physical health, was hugely instrumental in creating the Genuine Self-Care Model, as explained in the The Everyday Self-Care Workbook.
Fibromyalgia has brought its own lessons (and continues to). When you have fibromyalgia, self-care is not an option, it's pretty much a necessity. If I decide to pretend I'm “normal” and ignore my self-care routine, I'm quickly reminded that I'm NOT normal. And you know what, thank God!
I once compared myself to a “hot house orchid”, after reading an article in another coach's newsletter. Was I pampering myself too much? Or worse, was I encouraging other people to pamper themselves too much? By making sure my conditions were always "just right", sometimes to the exclusion of fun, other people's wishes, or even some of my other life goals, what was I giving up?
I've decided that, for me, creating my environments as best I can, and planning ahead so that my needs are met (as much as I can) is the only way I can be strong and resilient enough to handle things outside of my control. And I founded Genuine Coaching Services to help others discover the power of choice so that they can make healthy lifestyle choices every day.
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